Days to come...

My last post was on "Days Gone By..." the history of our lives. 

At some point in our life the realization that our days are numbered and God is the one who knows that number really becomes a loudly proclaimed TRUTH.

I suppose the subject of mortality has been in the back of my mind ever since my "cancer" diagnosis a few years ago.  Once "death" almost smacks you in the face I think one begins to "think" a little differently about "life and living".  You begin to review your "living" of life and what may once have been so important suddenly becomes the "least" important on your list. One's outlook on life drastically changes.  Your WINDOW's view of the WORLD is different today than it was yesterday when you thought your life was in your own hands.  We never "expect" to die. We always think that's for older people and until it hits your own life or family it seems distant.

Yes, I believe God is totally in control of my life.  Yes, I believe in His faithfulness, and love.  No, I'm not doubting His mercy and goodness.  He is GOD and He is GOOD all the time.  Yes, I believe in His WORD.  I love His Word.  I love to feel His presence HUG me and I love to feel His Shekinah Glory sweep over the congregation during a church service.  I love God with ALL my Heart, Mind, and Soul!!

I KNOW He's there through all of life's twists and turns, ups and downs.  Yes, He's there!  Even during a trying day full of trials and hardships... He's there and I know he's there!  Some of my days are not perfect in this imperfect world I live in... but He's there!  I'm not giddy with a school-girl infatuation, I've a deep rooted love and JOY in my Salvation!

When "those days" come... I can begin to "Praise Him" and praise right through the trial.  I've had the Holy Ghost since just after my 8th Birthday... He has never disappointed me.  I'm not one of His perfect children (are there any?)... I have my days when I have to get a grip on my attitude.  I work with the public everyday and I cannot reflect inner feelings to my clients. 

I'm one of those pilgrims who are on a journey through this world and I'm headed for the PROMISE Land.  The path may be rough at times... but there's always the "refreshing time" of His presence when He's walking right beside us, leading and guiding us on that path. 

As a pastor's wife of 40-years, I've seen those newly birthed struggle with the cares and concerns of life and sometimes the baggage of their past life seems to cling tightly.  My concern is that we pray, teach, and be REAL people to these who struggle with trials and tribulations. 

Time marches on... tomorrow will be here in about 4 minutes!  I want to be REAL to those who enter into the realm of my life and through the doors of our church.  I want to encourage them... "you can make it through".  Hold tightly to those out stretched hands. 

Maybe some who are reading this think I'm being "un-joyful", I'm not!  But I've seen the hurting, the helpless, and the hopeless.  Our cities are full of them.  My heart goes out to those who are "forgotten" or "overlooked" and I'm not just talking about the homeless.

And there go I, except by the grace and mercy of God...

I never want to forget that could be me.  Yes, I'm thankful I was raised in a God-fearing Pentecostal-Apostolic home.  Yes, I'm thankful for Sunday School teachers and ministers/pastors who taught the Word.  I'm thankful for the fellowship of my Brothers and Sisters in the LORD.  I'm thankful for a husband/pastor who preaches and teaches God's Word.  I am blessed!

Well Tomorrow has arrived...and it's another Day I choose to purposely live for Jesus. 

Let's be REAL for JESUS... I always think of the "Velveteen Rabbit" story... I want to have bare spots, torn spots, lose an ear or eye, come unstitched with the stuffing hanging out from  being "used" everyday.  I want to be vulnerable, open and willing to be used anyway He wants to use me.    I don't want to be stuck on the shelf and never taken down. 

Let Him choose me, that's my prayer!

 

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A Good Report...

God is good all the time, all the time God is good...

Even as we journey through trials and hard places in life... Yes, God is STILL good! He's still in charge and still is Master of our lives.

This has been a tumultuous week for me. Again, I had to endure the process of "cancer or cancer free".

Thursday I was scheduled for my quarterly Cystoscopy and biopsies. Always, with the negative thought trying to invade my mind, "will they find invasive cancer this time?"

• 5:25 am Up and getting Bud (husband) ready and off to work.
• 6:25 am Good Bye Kiss, Bud tells me, "I love you and you know I've been praying for you and will be thinking about you today." I observe the "worried" look behind his expression. He's going to work this morning and will be back around 11:30 am to take me to the hospital.
• 6:30 am I sit in my recliner reading and trying to calm my mind. Jesus and I have a wonderful conversation. I am assured that all is in HIS HANDS and nothing is going to happen to me that is not His Will. We will go through this together, Hand in Hand!
• 8:00am The craving for my morning coffee (I can do without the FOOD... just give me my coffee!!!) is strong... I have to get up and DO something to avoid the Caffeine URGE!
• 9:00 am The URGE passes...
• 10:45 am Start to get my things ready... pack my little black bag.
• 11:00 am Shower, fix hair... and I'm ready to go when Bud gets here.
• 11:30 am Bud's home and changes clothes, grabs his Bible and a book.
• 12:15 pm Dad, Mom, Bud and I have prayer and we're off for the hospital's Same Day Surgery Department.
• 12:45 pm Nurse calls and says can I come in NOW... he's got an early opening. YES, I want this over with... "I'm in the parking lot now... will be up in 10 minutes."

And thus the day goes on... I was back in the preliminary surgery area and the man next to me was having a complete Cystectomy done and the bed across from me was have a Nephrectomy. I am lying there calmly, basking in the love of Jesus and feeling his peace enfolding me with the comfort I need for this circumstance of life!

I hate to be anesthetized! I don't like NOT being in control of my person! But once the injection... I quickly fall asleep.

• 3:30 pm I peek out from under my heavy eyelids... "Yes!!! ...I'm still among the living."

When I'm finally able to answer questions, the nurse asked... "Do you want something to drink?" "YES...strong black coffee!" And she brings it to me, "Freshly brewed." Ummm, so good! Could this be a sin? :) I sincerely hope not!

Finally, I'm back in the room and they are getting me ready to leave in an hour or so. I'm not nauseated this time... wonderful! I feel pretty good... Actually, I feel wonderful! It's GOOD NEWS... the surgeon did find a small spot... feels he got it all and took the usual biopsies of different areas of the bladder. Told Bud he felt all is well... and nothing to worry about!

• 5:45 pm HOME... home never looked so good to me! Bud fixed a wonderful dinner of yellow squash, corn on the cob, carrots, peppers, cabbage, candied sweet potatoes, and Italian meatballs. It really is a pleasing combination... :D

Yes, God is good all the time. Even had I received a BAD report... God would still have been there... and He still would have been GOOD! He is ever present with us!

PS ~ A bit of humor: While getting ready for surgery... the nurse told me that I would have to take off my hairpiece! :D Bud quickly told her that was NOT a hairpiece. You could see the look of disbelief in her eyes. So, I took out the two clips holding my hair up and down it fell... she said... "Oh my gawd...that really is all yours." :D

WHY GOD?

Why?

Are there days when you’ve ask yourself WHY? or ask God WHY? or even just wonder WHY things happen or people say the things they do?

Why do the ones you thought you could trust, say things indirectly, but intentionally within your range of hearing, to hurt you? And then watch for your reaction? Why? It’s especially disappointing when fellow believers do this to each other.

Is this what putting one’s trust totally in God means? We learn quickly that we can’t depend on man (mankind). The human carnal nature just seems to take control at times and then we can be the brunt of it. Most of us have the built in nature to TRUST first. That makes us vulnerable to those who desire to inflict pain, physical or emotional. So, those of us who prefer to trust first get hurt and then after several hurtful experiences, we eventually give up and no longer trust that particular person. It’s really shameful to have to deal with this type of attitude in the everyday world we live in let alone within the church. God wants so much for us to be willing and ready for him to use us, but we can be so shallow-minded that we don't get beyond the first lesson!

It’s in times like these, that we are so glad that we know Jesus and he’s our friend. In times like these, that’s when He’s a friend like no other. We can always depend on Him to carry us through.

I personally, am so thankful for his love and everlasting mercy. I never want to forget just how much he loves you and me.

There’s enough negativity in this world...let’s not bring it into our churches. Our church family is supposed to be a place of trust, peace, love, and encouragement. It’s not just a social club... we can join anything just to be with a group of people. Our fellowship is much more than that! We gather to worship the one true and living God... the God of our salvation. The God who trusted us with His Spirit... dwelling inside us. That’s a huge responsibility... Please don’t take it lightly! I certainly don't!

God is a loving God and for that I am ever thankful!
Without Him...there isn’t a LIFE!